Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
