Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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