It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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