Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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