Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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