I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
