I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
