problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
If its not for food we ain't going out.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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