if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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