At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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