So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
