Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
