This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
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You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
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I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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