Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It's blow job season.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Randomize
