Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
