He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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