when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
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I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
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Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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