I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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