I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
