She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
