If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
