oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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