Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
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So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
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I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
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