were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
