Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
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Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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