Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You ruined the universe
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
