i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
