Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
