left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
