He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
