i cant cry in cvs. not again.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
