imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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