put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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