I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
