you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
