I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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