the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
