I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
