PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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