so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
