youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
