Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
