I've blown a few things in my day
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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