Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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