I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
