That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
