well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
