i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
