I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
