dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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