I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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