Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
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I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
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I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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