So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
