But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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