Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
