And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
