just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
