I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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