Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
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I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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