hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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