Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize