Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
